


Phoenix Malfoy and the Boy Who Lived

by Acro111



Series: Phoenix Malfoy [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Twins, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-27 14:29:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20761886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acro111/pseuds/Acro111
Summary: Phoenix knew who she was and who she wanted to be. Her mother's fear of magic wouldn't stop her from going to the greatest magical school in the world. Except the world falls out from under her as soon as she steps foot in the castle. She isn't Phoenix Macdonald, only child to single-mother Mary Macdonald. She is Phoenix Malfoy, kidnapped and missing since she was just a year old.





	1. The Stolen Girl

Mary Macdonald kept her curtains closed. She sat uncomfortably stiff on her own couch, watching her friends pace and twiddle their thumbs in anticipation. She had been running her hands through her short, dark hair, which now hung in limp greasy strands over her shoulders. She huffed in silent irritation. She had just washed her hair the night before and the stress had already made it stringy. She chewed on her lip and glanced at anything that made a sound louder than the ticking clock on the wall.

Present with her was Sirius Black, longtime school friend, and notorious prankster. Today, however, he was uncomfortably quiet. Pacing back and forth in Mary’s small living room, his shoulders tense, Sirius looked as though he’d rather be anywhere but there. Across from Mary, sitting in an armchair, was Remus Lupin. Scruffy, in dingy second-hand clothes, and yet as charming now as he was when they first met, Remus looked the most exhausted out of the group gathered there that day. Although it wasn’t out of the ordinary for him, he was also deadly quiet. Marlene McKinnon sat next to Mary on the couch. Her curly blonde hair was back in a high ponytail, and her dark eyes were looking at the floor. One of her arms was wrapped tightly around Mary, giving her reassuring squeezes.

Mary was regretting ever allowing the Order of the Phoenix to use her house as a safe home. In the past week, she’d received no less than three death threats while out with Alastor, she’d taken to sleeping with her wand in her bed, and a disillusionment charm around her home. Today, she’d been rudely awakened by her old classmates under the guise of catching up. It was only after she fed them all that they told her the real reason for their visit. Dumbledore was bringing them a weapon. Something, she was told, that would protect Lily and James’s newborn son.

“Not newborn,” Mary had to remind herself, “He’s nearly a year old.” Not that she had seen much of little Harry Potter since Lily and James had gone into hiding soon before he was born.

Since their late breakfast ended, her house was placed under several enchantments, and everyone had taken to waiting for an uncomfortably long time in silence for Dumbledore to arrive. Mary felt the tips of her fingers grow cold, and she wanted to do nothing more than excuse herself to the bathroom for some peace of mind. However, being the host, not wanting to break the stillness of the room, and not wanting to go alone, Mary stayed still, heart drumming in her chest as the clock ticked on. Her stomach churned and she worried if she breathed too deeply that she’d be sick.

A soft pop came from outside, all four drew their wands and froze like statues in their places. There were three quick knocks on the door, followed by a short pause and one single knock. Mary glanced at her companions. Sirius, being the only one standing, silently moved to the door, he looked back at the other three. Mary’s heart was pounding in her ears. She nodded to Sirius.

“Who goes there?” His voice wasn’t as commanding as Mary had hoped. And the tremor in his non-wand hand gave away just how scared he was.

“Dumbledore.” An old, familiar voice said. They’d all heard that voice just last week after their last Order meeting. It didn’t sound fake, but Sirius kept his wand at the ready.

“What’s the password?” Sirius demanded. Remus slowly crept to the opposite side of the door, both ready to open and aim should the Dumbledore outside prove to be false.

“Sherbet Lemon.” The four let out a collective breath they’d been holding. Cautiously, Sirius opened the door, peeking his wand and head out first before opening the door and ushering Dumbledore inside. Mary held her breath until the door was closed and everyone was in the kitchen.

“So?” Sirius asked, “What’s the weapon?” He was the most anxious out of the four of them, wanting anything that could save his best friend and his family.

“Shh,” Dumbledore cooed, “You’ll wake her.” He looked down at a concealed bundle in his arms.

“Wake her?” Remus asked. Mary glanced at the other three, who looked just as confused as she was. What had Dumbledore done?

There was a long silence, where Dumbledore stood with his back to the four, rocking whatever was in his arms. Mary could almost choke on the thickness of the air. “Where is Mr. Pettigrew?” Dumbledore broke the silence.

“He,” Remus glanced at the others, “couldn’t make it. He’s visiting Lily and James.”

“Did you kidnap a baby?” Marlene blurted out. Mary looked at the back of Dumbledore’s head, cursing every trace of magical blood in her body that got her into this mess.

“Of course not.” Dumbledore smartly remarked, “she was given to me.” He turned, and with a grand gesture, revealed a sleeping toddler in his arms. She was perhaps a year old, maybe more so.

“Just like Harry.” It felt like a stone dropped in Mary’s stomach.

The little girl had feathery, short, platinum blonde hair, and sweet rosy cheeks. Dumbledore wasn’t fooling around, he had an actual, living, breathing child with him. A cold sweat rolled down Mary’s back  
“You have a child.” Marlene sank into a chair, her head in her hands, “You took a child.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, but it still squeaked with accusation and shock. She didn’t look at Dumbledore. Mary didn’t blame her. Dumbledore was their former headmaster. They saw him as all-knowing and infallible. How could...Why would he kidnap a child?!

“This is our weapon?” Sirius accused, “This is what’s supposed to save my Godson?” He spoke quickly, his voice rising with rage. “What’s supposed to save my best friends?!”

“She is our weapon,” Dumbledore clarified, “And she is supposed to save Harry Potter.” He remained calm in the face of four furious former students.

The silence that followed was deafening.

“How?” Remus asked. Mary was having a hard time accepting this child in her former headmaster’s arms was supposed to save anyone. Mary’s knees felt weak. She wanted to blink and wake up. Why was this happening? Her head was spinning. This child belonged to someone, a family--a family that was probably desperately looking for her. What could be so special about her that Dumbledore felt the need to kidnap her?!

“Who is she?” Mary interrupted Dumbledore just as he began to answer Remus. She couldn’t keep her mouth shut any more. A thousand questions sat on the tip of her tongue, but Dumbledore cut her off.

“She is a weather witch.” He easily ignored the actual meaning of the question.

Marlene drive heaved, “This is too much. You took someone’s powerful child. A powerful child that has a power that hasn’t been recorded since the founders of Hogwarts!” Her arms began to shake, “Who’s child is she?”

“Well she’s a Malfoy, through and through,” Sirius said pointing a disgusted finger at the toddler, “she’s got it written all over her.”

“She’s just a child, Sirius.” Dumbledore pointed out, “And your cousin.” Mary looked at the little girl. She did sort of resemble Lucius, but there was a childish softness on her face that the older former classmate didn’t have. Mary never paid too much attention to older classmates, not to mention Lucius was an older Slytherin who didn’t associate with many people to begin with. However, she did recall Peter mocking Lucius, calling him “so many angels a geometry student would faint”.

“I am of no relation to those people.” Sirius sneered. Mary could feel the daggers in his voice, and something made her want to protect the child from his hatred. “They have made that perfectly clear. Many times.”

“I do not approve of this plan.” Marlene stood, looking ill, “You kidnapped a child all for what? To protect Lily and James? They have a secretkeeper.” Mary glanced at Sirius, “No one will find them. This will all just blow over after the war and then what?” She demanded. “Will you just take her back to her parents? Oh, I’m sure they’ll love that.” With one more huff, Marlene ran a hand through her hair, “I’m going home.” She turned to Mary, “I’m so sorry.”

“Marlene--” Sirius followed her. The door opened and slammed shut. Mary flinched at the sound.

“Someone must take care of her.” Dumbledore said once Sirius had returned. He looked at Sirius as if hoping he’d step up to the challenge. He didn’t, and Mary didn’t blame him.

“Yeah, her parents.” Sirius spat at him.

“Mr. Black,” they paused, “This girl will be the tipping point in our war. She cannot be in the wrong hands.” Dumbledore’s twinkling eyes had turned hard, and he stared at Sirius over his half-moon spectacles.

“Why can’t she just be placed in an orphanage?” Mary asked, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Her magic is controlled by her emotions,” Dumbledore explained, Mary hadn’t realized it, but she was gripping the counter next to her with such ferocity that her hand began to cramp. “They cannot be left unchecked. She needs to be under proper magical guidance.”

“And you think we’re proper magical guidance?” Sirius asked, laying a hand on his chest as if he were offended. Mary could laugh, Sirius always sold himself short academically. The boy was insanely smart--dense, but smart. He simply lacked the will to do any homework.

“I did not send you to Miss Macdonald’s house to have some tea and catch up,” the twinkle in Dumbledore’s eyes had returned, if Mary’s stomach dropped to the floor earlier, it was now burying itself in the Earth’s crust.

“Me?” Mary asked. “Why me? I don’t know a thing about weather magic, let alone, raising a child! Why can’t Remus do it?” She blurted before meaning to, motioning to the young man who had been quiet. Remus scrunched his nose up in disgust and made a gesture as if to say, “really??”.

“She needs people who know what they’re going up against, people who will avoid Voldemort’s order,” Mary and Sirius cringed, “and frankly, be with someone who is half capable of teaching magic,” Dumbledore ignored their reactions and looked over his spectacles with a most amused smile on his face. Remus, who looked thoroughly confused and offended, just glanced between the other three people in the room. “With Remus’s Lycanthropy he is a target. For recruitment, for death, for whatever they please. Sirius, with your pure blood ties you’re a target for recruitment. And Mary, well-”

“Mulciber.” Was all Mary said to cut him off, her blood running cold. She’d had a target on her back since that day in school. The taunts, the threats, the actual assaults. It was why she was training with Alastor in the first place. People like Mulciber needed to be stopped.

“Yes, Mulciber.” Dumbledore repeated, “You three know what Voldemort is capable of. As does Miss McKinnon and Mister Pettigrew. Therefore, you will be better equipped to avoid detection.”

“Why not leave her with Lily and James, then?” Remus asked.

“Lily and James have enough on their plate with Harry.” Sirius shook his head.

Mary wanted the kitchen floor to swallow her whole, she should have never been friends with Lily, then she would have never had to deal with her boyfriend’s friends and get caught up in all their trouble. Mary, of course, couldn’t blame Lily. Lily was the best, and only friend Mary had had before Marlene, James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter came along. The girl in Dumbledore’s arms squirmed, then gave out a soft sound that sounded like a pathetic wail.

“Wait, wait,” Remus held up his hand, “Didn’t The Daily Prophet announce the birth of Lucius’s spawn?” Mary and Sirius looked at Remus, confused as to what he was mentioning, “There was a pair.”

“What?” Sirius asked, “Like twins?”

“Indeed. Weather magic is bound to emotions,” Dumbledore explained, “twins often share emotions. Separating them will make their emotions and powers grow, they will not be dependent on each other.”

“So, wait, why not grab the both of them?” Sirius asked.

“Sirius!” Mary scolded, “This is someone’s child Dumbledore’s taken! Have a little heart.” She couldn’t believe this was all happening, she released her grip on the counter and hugged herself.

“Not for the Malfoy’s.” Sirius grumbled. “All I’m saying is,” Sirius shrugged his shoulders in defeat, “why not have the whole set? Wouldn’t that be more powerful?”

“We want this child to be powerful enough to protect Harry Potter,” Dumbledore explained, “she must grow on her own, and be independent from her brother. I suspect the Malfoy’s do not know the true power their children hold.”

“So, you not only kidnapped a child,” Remus rubbed his forehead, a clear sign of an oncoming headache, “but you’re also experimenting with weather magic?”

“This is the only way we can ensure Harry Potter’s protection. If this war will continue, she will be his companion and protector.” Dumbledore said with a tone that told his former pupils it was the end of discussion. Mary could tell he was hiding something, but what, she didn’t know, nor did she plan on asking.

“Miss Macdonald, I know this is a huge responsibility, I know I may be asking too much of you,” it took all of Mary’s willpower not to roll her eyes or say something sarcastic, “but will you, with the help of you friends,” Dumbledore pointedly looked between Remus and Sirius, “raise our weapon?”

Mary took a breath. On the one hand, she would lay down her life if it meant protecting Lily and Harry (and sure, James too, if she really must). On the other hand, raising a child that wasn’t even hers when she was still young and had plenty of life she’d yet to live. Mary glanced at Dumbledore, who had just happened to be holding the girl in such a way that Mary could see her in her entirety. It wasn’t the girls fault she had weather magic, it wasn’t her fault she’d been (wrongly) taken from her family. But that didn’t mean she had to be left in the hands of someone like Dumbledore who was raising her for slaughter. Mary gave a single nod and pressed her lips in defeat, “I will, sir.”

There was silence. It was deafening. Mary was acutely aware of how heavily she was breathing as the room was weighed down with silence.

“So, what is her name?” Remus spoke first. It was a question that one would ask at the birth of a child, he asked so casually that Mary felt her head spin.

Dumbledore smiled with relief. “Phoenix. Phoenix Malfoy.”

“Can I hold her?” Mary asked after another long, uncomfortable silence. The words were out before she even realized what she was saying.

“Of course.” Dumbledore nodded his head. Every step Mary took felt heavy, as if she was being weighed down by lead. It felt as if she were going to sink into her floor and be anchored to the spot, but somehow, she made it over to Dumbledore. Copying his arms, Mary was shocked at just how heavy the toddler was.

“How old is she?” Sirius asked, walking over cautiously, as if he expected Phoenix to attack him.

“Just over a year old.” Dumbledore answered, his hands now clasped in front of him.

“So young.” Remus ran a hand through his hair.

“What am I supposed to do with her?” Mary looked at Dumbledore, she felt as if the entire world had just been laid in her arms.

“Supplies will be brought to you,” Dumbledore looked off into the distance, “there is no right way to raise a child.” Mary could slam her head against the wall with how frustrating Dumbledore was being, “but for now, I must be off. I will visit as soon as I can.” Dumbledore whisked away to the front door before anyone could grasp what he was saying.

“Wait, you can’t just leave after dumping a child on her.” Sirius tried to follow, but there was a soft pop and then silence.

“Now what?” Remus asked once Sirius returned to the kitchen.

“Now we just keep Phoenix safe until Dumbledore gives us further instructions.” Mary was looking over the sleeping girls face, not noticing that she’d slowly started swaying.

“Do you need either of us to stay?” Remus offered, Mary and Sirius looked at him, “In case you need help.” He clarified.

“I think I can manage.” Mary mumbled, “thank you.”

“We’re just a floo away,” Remus squeezed her shoulders reassuringly, he waited for Sirius at the kitchen door.

“Don’t hesitate to call or come if things go wrong.” Sirius said, “our pad is always open.”

“Thank you.” Mary said she regretted not accepting their help when they offered it. She was about to be alone with a stranger’s child. She watched as they left, and when a soft pop echoed in her empty house, Mary began to shake. She was alone with a child. A child that wasn’t hers. A child that was taken from her home. A child that might possibly save the lives of her friend’s family.

“What have I done?” Mary whispered.

She looked at the clock, “It’s only noon.” She wanted to go back to bed. She wasn’t hungry, and Dumbledore left no food for Phoenix, or instructions on what to even feed her. “Well I guess, so long as you’re sleeping,” Mary shuffled back into her living room. She sat carefully on the couch, and laid down, with Phoenix laying on top of her, snuggled in her arms. The day had turned grey, and Phoenix began to whimper softly as rain began to patter down on Mary’s roof. Mary absentmindedly stroked Phoenix’s head and back, trying to soothe the troubled girl, but soon Mary had drifted off to sleep with the rain pouring down.

It felt as if her eyes had only been closed a second, but suddenly thunder was cracking overhead and Mary was aware of the squirming child on her chest. She opened her eyes and had to resist sitting upright, Phoenix had somehow wiggled her way upright, and was sitting on her stomach. She was crying and grabbing fistfuls of Mary’s shirt and pulling at them.

“Hey,” Mary sat up, Phoenix sliding down onto her lap, “hey,” she gently shushed the girl, rocking back and forth, “it’s okay.” Lightning flashed and thunder roared again, only making Phoenix wail louder. “Please,” Mary pleaded, bouncing Phoenix on her lap, “it’s only rain, it’s just a storm. Just calm down.” Mary spent the next half an hour trying to soothe Phoenix, but it was only when Phoenix took a breath that Mary was able to do anything. Mary yawned, noting how late it was on the clock. Phoenix, having seen the yawn, yawned in response. Slowly, Phoenix slowed her breathing, her cries became whimpers, and then nothing. It was as if she’d spent all her energy on crying because she was once against, fast asleep.

Feeling a crick in her neck, Mary stood up slowly. She shuffled to the stairs in the dark, climbing them carefully, with Phoenix on one hip, and the opposite shoulder on the wall to guide her up. Yawning once more, Mary laid Phoenix down on her own bed and then tucked herself next to her. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

The next time Mary woke, it was to a soft pop outside her home. She was alert in an instant, wand at the ready as she rolled out of bed, careful not to disturb Phoenix. There was knocking at the door, Mary looked at the clock in the hallway. It was either very early, or she’d slept clear into the afternoon. Judging on the little pink light filtering in the house, Mary guessed it was early morning.

She slowly walked down the stairs, careful not to make a sound. There were more knocks at the door. Mary finally made it to the bottom of the stairs, “who’s there?” she asked quietly, wand pointed at the door. She took a few steps across the room, “I said, who’s there?” she repeated louder this time.

“Sirius.” His voice called from the other side of the door.

“And what’s your actual name, Sirius?” Mary asked, she cringed at the wording of her question, but waited silently for an answer.

“If you mean my school nickname, it’s Padfoot.” Sirius answered. Mary took a breath and took the remaining steps to the door. When she opened it, she did not expect to see Sirius standing outside her house with a thousand baby supplies. Of what she could see, there was a crib, diapers, food, and about a hundred small trinkets and toys. “Dumbledore sends his best wishes.” Sirius looked as if he’d gotten very little sleep.

“Oh.” Was all Mary could say, sticking her wand in her pocket. He was still in the clothes he’d been wearing yesterday, but Mary couldn’t complain or say much, as she was in the same boat as him. “Thank you.” Mary finally stood aside, and Sirius levitated his load inside.

“Where’s Remus?” Mary asked.

“Getting breakfast.” Sirius stretched, “and then job hunting.” He rolled his eyes, “I told him he could just crash at my place, but he didn’t want to hear it.” Just at that moment, with the door still open, Remus popped onto her front porch. “Thinks that by being ‘roommates’ that he has to ‘get a job’.” Sirius used air quotes. “I’ve got plenty of money for us both, but,” He shrugged.

“You know Remus.” Mary smiled, she stretched, pushing the sleep out of her body, “Always trying to be so independent and edgy.”

“Oh, you were able to apparate with it all. Good.” Remus said, walking in. No alarms went off, so Mary trusted this was the real Remus. “I brought breakfast.” He had a cupholder in one hand, and a bag in the other. “There’s a cute little muggle café by Sirius’s place. Cheaper, and less magical eyes.”

“So, what’s in the bag, then?” Sirius asked, gently dropping things on the floor to look in the bag Remus had brought.

“Bagels, spread, and muffins.” Remus let Sirius snatch the bag from him, and laid the cupholder down on the coffee table, “bought us each a drink.”

“Unless it’s got fire whiskey in it, I’m not interested in muggle drinks. Too sugary.” Sirius waved him off.

Remus clenched his jaw, “it’s too early to be picky.” He picked up one of the cardboard cups and shoved it at Sirius, “so drink.”

Mary sleepily looked at all the stuff the boys had brought and smiled, “Thank you both,” she accepted an outstretched muffin from Sirius. The three ate in relative silence, occasionally yawning in the early morning light.

“Well, while I do appreciate you both coming here and bring all this stuff,” Mary motioned to the several bags and boxes around her living room, “I’m still very tired. So, I think I’ll be going back to bed for now.” She stood up. Not wanting to be alone again incase Phoenix had another breakdown like last night, Mary looked at the two boys, “you two are welcome to stay and get some more sleep as well, if you’d like.”

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer.” Sirius yawned and stretched.

“I have an interview today in a little village not far from here. Mostly magical community, so I’ll keep an eye out, but I’ll come back later.” Remus stood up.

“Stay safe,” Mary smiled gently at him as he saw his way out. “Here,” she helped Sirius stand up, “I’ll show you to your room.” She mocked the tone most prefects had when touring first years around. Sirius gave a sleepy laugh, but followed Mary without much fuss or sass. After Mary showed Sirius to a room, she returned to her own and was thankful to find Phoenix still fast asleep on her bed. Mary slowly crawled back into bed, careful not to disturb Phoenix, and willed herself back to sleep.

Hours later, Mary was woken by another soft pop, only this time it was Marlene. She’d returned after storming out, which was a good sign in Mary’s eyes. Marlene’s eyes widened as Mary let her in after questioning her. The explosion of children’s stuff in her living room must have solidified that fact that yesterday had indeed happened, because Marlene just took a breath and closed her eyes. She cleared her throat, “So, where do we start in this mess?” she opened her eyes and laid her hands on her hips, shifting her weight onto one leg.

“Well, we should probably set the crib up.” Mary rubbed the back of her neck, still stiff from the night before. She didn’t feel like sharing her bed with a child.

“Alright,” Marlene pulled her wand out, “You find a room, I’ll take this up to it.” Mary just nodded and waited until Marlene began levitating the crib before guiding her up the stairs.

“We’ll just put her in the room across from mine.” Mary said. At the top of the stairs was a narrow hallway with doors lining either side. Since she’d inherited the house from her grandparents, there was plenty of old, untouched rooms in the house. Her grandparents had several children who unfortunately gave them only one grandchild, but fortunately, that meant Mary had gotten the house as a gift once she’d left Hogwarts. Mary’s room was the second door on the left, as she opened the door across the hall, she tried to remember who used the room. The dozens of dusty boxes and broken bed didn’t help her.

Marlene made a shocked noise behind her, “This will not do at all. It’s too dirty.”

“Well,” Mary pulled out her wand and waved it, turning the old lights on, “We just have to clean it.” The two got to work with cleaning charms. Dust swirled up and disappeared into thin air, curled wallpaper laid back down and appeared brand new, the scuffed and scraped floor was polished to a gleaming glow. The broken bed was transfigured into a smaller child’s bed, they wouldn’t use it until Phoenix was big enough to sleep without the worry of her falling out of bed. Now, with the room clean, the two ladies began to assemble the crib, charming the screws and pieces into place.

Before they could finish the crib, Phoenix let out a small cry from Mary’s room. “I’ll get her.” Marlene said, “you dealt with her all last night.” And with that Marlene left Mary alone. The crib settled into place and Mary gave it a little wobble, one of the legs was shorter than the other.

“Perhaps I could charm it to sit level.” She attempted to do so, only to find it now sat off balance on another leg. “What?” Mary whispered out loud, “why?” she asked no one in particular.

Marlene came back in with a sleepy Phoenix and a bottle, “I grabbed some of that,” Marlene looked at the bottle Phoenix held, “formula, she seems to like it. Muggles,” she smiled, “what will they come up with next?”

“An imbalanced crib that no matter what charm you use,” Mary rocked the uneven crib, “it remains uneven.”

“Just take it apart and charm all the legs.” Marlene said, transfiguring a bedside table into a chair. Marlene bounced Phoenix on her legs, watching Mary pace back and forth in the quickly assembled nursery room. “I cannot believe you accepted. I would have given Dumbledore a jinx or two if he’d offered me anything like this.”

Mary stopped her string of curses on the crib, “Well what was I supposed to do?” she waved her wand, disassembling and reassembling the crib, as each incarnation was not quite right. “Let Dumbledore raise her? Let him put the idea in her head that she is simply being raised as a shield? A pig raised for slaughter?” Mary began placing old toys in the crib, charming them so they’d give off warmth when cuddled. “I do not know Dumbledore’s entire plan, but I will make sure this child gets back to her family.” Mary looked at Phoenix.

Her eyes were the palest blue, almost a steel grey, but they were full of life, and curiosity. Mary had witnessed Phoenix’s weather magic last night with the sudden storm and temper tantrum, she was already a powerful witch, even at one years old.

“So, what’s your plan?” Marlene asked, giving a yelp of pain and surprise when Phoenix roughly yanked at her hair.

“Well I want to obviously protect Lily, James, and Harry,” Mary sat back, and looked at the ceiling, “I don’t want to keep her. She’s someone else’s child.” Mary ran her hands over her face, “I have no clue what I’m supposed to do. She’s a Malfoy! If I return her they’ll probably kill me or send me to Azkaban. And Dumbledore won’t return her. But how do you just sneakily walk up to the Malfoy’s home and drop off their missing child?” Mary glanced at the newspaper on the chair next to Marlene. Phoenix’s baby portrait had been plastered on the front page as missing. How was she supposed to go anywhere when most of the magical nation was looking for Phoenix?

“What should I do?” Mary turned to Marlene, desperation in her voice and eyes. She wanted to know what to do.

“Drop her off at an orphanage?” Marlene was playing tug-of-war with her hair with Phoenix. Though it was more like a pitiful attempt to pull her hair back as Phoenix had a tight grip on her hair.

“I don’t think Dumbledore would like that. He would know, and then he would do what he pleases with her.” She paused, “and I don’t think that includes returning her to her family.” Mary sighed. They stayed silent, mulling over their options, Phoenix eventually broke it by letting out a wail.

Sirius barged into the room, his eyes were wild and sunken from general stress and lack of sleep, “Will that child ever shut up?” He asked the two women.

“She misses her twin,” Mary sighed, taking Phoenix from Marlene, “she knows something is wrong.” Marlene raised an eyebrow at her, “I can just feel it.” Phoenix rested easily on her hip, still being cradled and held up.

“Send her back by owl.” Sirius stormed off, “I should put a muffle charm on her.” He muttered.

Marlene watched Mary rock Phoenix for a few minutes. A torrential downpour began outside, filling the house with white noise. “Did Mr. Black spend the night?” Marlene didn’t look pleased.

“No,” Mary rolled her eyes, “but he did arrive early this morning with food and other supplies.”

“Considering he was just threatening to send her off by owl, I’m surprised.” Marlene raised both her eyebrows in shock, her lips pursed into a thoughtful pout.

“Well I think we’ve both accepted this is our lives for the time being.” Mary stared off in the distance, ignoring Phoenix as she began to push against Mary, wanting to escape her arms and explore.

There was a soft pop from outside, Marlene went to the bedroom door, peeking downstairs. Mary could hear Sirius shuffle around downstairs, then there was silence. Mary could feel her heart drumming in her head, her stomach felt like it’d been blended into a smoothie. Phoenix either didn’t notice how thick and tense the air had gotten, or she didn’t care. She began to babble and squirm, making it clear she no longer wanted to be held.

“Who’s there?” They could hear Sirius from downstairs. Marlene slipped her wand out of her pocket, ready to slam the bedroom door shut or fight. They couldn’t hear the answer, but Sirius asked, “And what is your marauder name?” Again, they could not hear the answer, but Sirius soon called up, “It’s okay, it’s Remus.”

Marlene let out the breath she’d been holding, she looked back at Mary, “It’s good. Just Remus.” Remus made a fuss downstairs before sprinting upstairs, he looked more disheveled than usual, The Daily Prophet clenched in his hands.

“Did you check the news?” He asked.

“We know, Phoenix is plastered on the front page.” Marlene stepped back, Remus having taken up the space she’d been occupying.

“No,” He fiddled with the paper, Mary watched as he scanned the pages with wide eyes, “This!” he finally turned and showed the page to Mary and Marlene.

“Order your new feather quills today?” Marlene squinted at the articles on the page.”

“No, look at all of the article titles, the first word.” Remus pointed, “Order meeting tonight.”

“Tonight?” Mary asked, “Why didn’t Dumbledore just tell us about it yesterday?”

“Something must have come up,” Remus insisted, “And look,” he tapped his wand to the crumpled paper, “reveal yourself.” He said, and several words on the page began to glow.”

“Order meeting tonight,” Marlene read, “mandatory for all, 8 o’clock sharp. Mary’s house. The word is ‘infant’.”

“8 o’clock?” Mary stood, shocking Phoenix, who cried and pushed against her, “I’m supposed to have my house ready by 8 o’clock? Here,” she handed Phoenix to Marlene, who gave a shout of protest. Mary began waving her wand, dust swirling up and disappearing as she raced through the house. She lit scented candles to freshen the place up, began charming her kitchen to cook for the meeting, and she extended her living room with the flick of her wand. She began transfiguring pillows and blankets into extra seats, and charmed her coffee table to expand as long as necessary.

Mary wanted desperately to open her curtains and windows, but feared how much noise the meeting would make and the attention it would draw. Thankfully, Mary’s grandparents had been smart. Her little house was inconspicuous against the other similar houses on the street, but it was the tall trees that shielded the house that made making Mary’s house the perfect safehouse. The charms her grandparents put on the few trees on the property made the walk from the house to the road seem like a journey. It was as if Mary was isolated in the center of civilization. To her neighbors, it was just a plot of trees the city had left alone, but to a wizard’s gaze, it was a charming little house protected by thick woods.

Marlene, Sirius, Remus, and Mary spent the rest of the evening putting all of the care products for Phoenix away. Diapers in drawers and other odd containers, clothes in her closet and dresser, toys placed in a transfigured toy chest, food in the kitchen (the earlier charmed utensils did not enjoy being disrupted), and other necessities in their proper places.

“What am I supposed to do with Phoenix while the meeting is going on?” Mary asked, fighting to get Phoenix to eat. Remus had to wrestle the rambunctious witch into her feeding chair, so it was Mary who had to feed her. So far, Phoenix had managed to get food on the tray, herself, Mary, Sirius, Remus, Marlene, the floor, and (somehow) the ceiling. None of it had gotten in her mouth.

“Shove her in her room.” Sirius wiped the food out of his hair, clear disgust on his face.

“She needs to eat,” Marlene was reading one of the care books Sirius had brought, “that should make her sleepy.”

“How much time do we have?” Mary asked, pitifully trying once again to put a scoop of food in Phoenix’s mouth.

“Fifteen minutes.” Remus looked at the watch on her wrist.

“Okay.” Mary righted herself. Phoenix, who had seemed uninterested in everything around her, now looked at Mary with great interest, “Phoenix, you are going to eat this food,” she scooped out some of the nasty, mushy, orange goop, “you’re going to get sleepy.” She put the spoon to Phoenix’s lips, “and you’re going to sleep through this meeting.” The four watched with anticipation. Phoenix made a noise and took the whole spoon in her mouth. They all let out a sigh of relief.

There was a soft pop, “oh no!” they all exclaimed. Remus helped Mary take Phoenix out of her chair. Remus carried Phoenix upstairs while Mary followed and attempted to feed her as they moved. Phoenix must have found the situation funny because she giggled and whacked the spoon out of Mary’s hand.

“Accio!” Mary called absentmindedly, grabbing the spoon as it came flying to her hand. Downstairs she could hear Sirius and Marlene questioning whoever had come to the door.

Remus and Mary closed themselves in Phoenix’s room. The extra bed was transfigured into a feeding chair by Remus, who promptly plopped Phoenix down in it. “Okay, little one,” Remus said, “let’s do this quickly.”

Quickly was not in Phoenix’s vocabulary, she kept giggling at Mary and Remus, opting to clap and bounce instead of eat and get sleepy. The panic in Mary’s chest had settled since they were safely in Phoenix’s room. “Mary!” Marlene called, “it’s Dumbledore,” Remus and Mary paused, both aware of just how panicked they had been to hide Phoenix. “He says it’s okay to have Phoenix down here.”

“Of course he does,” Remus stood up straight, cracking his back as he went, “after all the panic we went through to hide her.”

“Not like we were doing a good job anyways.” Mary took a breath. She looked at Remus who had food in his hair and on his face. She laughed at him.

“What?” Remus asked.

“You’re covered in baby food.” Mary laughed, she transfigured a baby wipe into a wet towel and pinched the baby food out of his hair.

“Well so are you.” Remus looked away and flinched when she held his chin to wipe his face.

Mary remembered quickly that Remus hated his face being touched and pulled back, “Sorry.” She thrust the towel into his hands, “it’s on your hairline and the crook of your nose under your right eye.” She turned away, pulling out another wipe and transfiguring it. She pressed the entire towel to her face, hiding her ashamed blush. How could she forget Remus’s number one rule? What kind of friend was she? She pulled the towel down and left out the breath she’d been holding.

She turned around and Remus plucked her towel out of her hands. He’d discarded his own in a hamper and pinched baby food out of Mary’s hair. “Told you that you were also covered,” he pulled the towel away and showed her the mushy orange food that was now on the towel.

“Thanks.” Mary said shortly. She pulled out one last baby wipe and wiped Phoenix’s food covered face off, “come on, then.” She picked Phoenix up who was still giggling. A warmth came from Phoenix, and for a moment Mary panicked that she had made a mess of herself. Then, Mary realized the warmth was coming from Phoenix’s chest. She was happy and radiating warmth, every giggle made her just a little warmer. It was like cuddling under a warm blanket on a cold day. Mary smiled. It felt nice.

She, Phoenix, and Remus walked back downstairs, Dumbledore had already seated himself at the table Mary had transfigured earlier. “Ah, there she is.” Dumbledore smiled at Phoenix. “Looking quite happy here.”

“Don’t let that distract you from the fact that you’ve taken her from her family.” Marlene accused, sitting across from Dumbledore, with Sirius next to her. “She’s only happy because of all the trouble she has caused.”

“Oh?” Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled. Before anyone else could say a word, more soft pops came from outside.

Alastor Moody and Alice and Frank Longbottom, were the first to arrive, Moody complaining that Mary’s house was too close to civilization for comfort (as usual). He limped into the closest chair and sat down with a heavy thunk. Alice and Frank were without their little Neville. “He’s with my mum,” Frank said, pulling out a chair for Alice. Alice however, was distracted by the toddler in Phoenix’s arms.

“Oh, Mary, she’s a doll!” Alice clapped. Frank smiled and rolled his eyes at his wife as she went to sit by Mary and coo over Phoenix. Alice had kept her hair short as long as Mary had known her, but tonight it seemed even shorter than usual.  
“Just got it cut,” Alice explained when Marlene complimented her hair. “Neville’s been grabby lately, so I just chopped it off to avoid the neck injuries.”

“Alice we’ve only just left Neville two minutes ago.” Frank laughed. Frank was dorky looking, but that didn’t stop him from becoming one of the most respected members of the Order and a damn good fighter when the time came to it. Mary had only seen Frank duel once while she was out interning with Alastor, and once was enough to know she’d never beat him in a fight.

Fabian and Gideon Prewett came next, both looked tired. “We’ve had trouble leaving our house lately.” Gideon said, “after Molly sent us a letter by unprotected owl some,” he paused.

“Suspicious people,” Fabian filled in, “have been snooping around our home.” He ruffled his orange hair and gave a friendly nod to everyone.

“And how are Molly and Arthur? I assume still not joining us?” Dumbledore asked.

“Not that they don’t want to.” Gideon said defending his sister and her family. His own hair was equally as orange as his brothers, but not as shaggy, and held back by a black ribbon.

“They’ve just got so many children to take care of. Weasley number seven is due any day now.” Fabian said with a smile.

Emmiline Vance and Dorcas Meadowes came next, “It’s taken me ages to convince her to come.” Emmiline said, shedding her jacket and hanging it up on a hook by the door. “She thinks you-know-who is personally following her.” Her had her dark hair pulled back loosely in a butterfly clip. Her black sweater looked like it’d been in a fight with a cat, and her skirt and leggings were no better, patched up in odd places.

Fabian waved her off, “everyone knows he never gets his hands dirty. Probably one of his followers or a dumb kid playing a prank on you.”

“I know what I saw.” Dorcas said sternly. She kept the hood up on her silver and gold robe, hiding her dark curls. She snarled her dark lips at Gideon when he winked at her.

Elphias Doge, Edgar Bones, Peter Pettigrew and Rubeus Hagrid were the next to arrive, apologizing for holding the meeting up. Dumbledore only smiled and waved them in, “No, it’s quite alright, we are still waiting for two more.”

Elphias Doge was just like Dumbledore, eternally old. He’d been old the entire time Mary had known him, which wasn’t long considering she joined the order just after leaving Hogwarts. Edgar Bones had his twiggy, salt and pepper hair loose, he’d grown a handlebar mustache since the last meeting. Peter Pettigrew hadn’t changed much since Hogwarts. He was still the short and stubby boy Mary had known. Rubeus Hagrid was also as Mary remembered him. The groundskeeper was half-giant and his size alone proved that. It was nice to see him outside of tending to the Hogwarts grounds.

Mary looked around the table, some people had been missing for some time. If they’d seen the advert, like Remus had, they would have headed straight here, or sent word if they were unable to. “Lily and James.” Something wriggled in the back of her mind. Lily and James had not yet arrived, if something had happened to them, this would all be for nothing. Harry was prophesied to end The Dark Lord. If anything had happened, Mary shuddered to think.

Then, just as stomachs were starting to rumble, and more people began to be aware of the small child at the table, two small pops were heard from outside. People had entered the property line. Mary breathed with relief as Lily and James came inside, James holding little Harry Potter.

“Sorry we’re late.” James said, “we’d never apparated with Harry before. Lily suggested we take the muggle way to avoid being traced or hurting Harry.” Everyone only smiled and agreed. Some people got up to hug the couple, others simply smiled from their seats and said ‘hello’ to the very awake and alert Harry. Lily and James sat towards the back end of the table with Mary, Remus, Alice and Frank. James looked aged from stress, but his shaggy black hair was still as unruly as Mary remembered it. Lily also looked stressed, her red hair hung in waves around her face as she sat silently, only smiling and nodding to people who greeted her. Little Harry Potter was the spitting image of James, but even from a distance Mary could see he had Lily’s eyes. He was just as cute as she remembered. He’d grown so much since the last time she’d seen him, and already she could tell his hair would be as unruly as his father’s hair.

“Well, now that everyone is here,” Dumbledore looked at Mary who nodded, “dig in.” And somehow, even though this was Mary’s house and she had charmed the food, Dumbledore was able to call it all to the table. Baked ham, fresh bread, trays of fruits and vegetables, and various other foods that Mary wasn’t aware she had or was aware her kitchen could make, were laid out before the Order.

There was little pleasantry talk, and Alice turned to Mary, “Has she eaten yet?” she asked.

“Well,” Mary sheepishly admitted, “we tried to get her to eat,” she looked at Remus.

“Who is she?” James asked, Dumbledore gave a cough and looked down at James from his spot at the table.

“In due time, Mr. Potter. But first, eat.” Even though he smiled, Dumbledore did not seem in the mood for pleasantries. James raised an eyebrow at Dumbledore, but gave a shrug to those sitting around him.

“He doesn’t know why we have Phoenix.” Mary thought, she glanced at Remus, if he’d realized the same thing he didn’t let it show. Mary glanced down the table at Marlene and Sirius who didn’t seem to notice either as Peter was telling what must have been an enthralling story.

“Can I try?” Alice asked, and Mary looked at her.

“Oh,” Mary said, “Oh, of course.” Mary sat Phoenix between her and Alice.

“Hi there,” Alice cooed, putting Phoenix on her lap, “aren’t you just the prettiest little girl?” Alice smiled. “Oh,” she smiled and looked at Frank, “do you think Neville would like a little sister?” Frank nearly choked on his drink.

“Alice? At the table?” He asked.

“What?” Alice smiled. “I’ve always wanted a little girl to dote on. You’ve got your son, why can’t I have a daughter?”

“We can discuss this at home later.” Frank laughed.

“I understand, mate,” James said, bouncing Harry on his lap, “Lily’s been talking about another little Potter.”

“Isn’t two Potter men running around enough?” Remus asked, and they all shared a laugh. Phoenix giggled and held Alice’s hands as she tried to feed her. Mary noticed that Alice had a certain motherly charm about her, unfazed by Phoenix suddenly turning her head, or trying to smack food away. Alice would simply adjust and keep trying. In the end, Alice managed to get Phoenix to eat enough food for her small little belly.

While she ate, Mary glanced at Harry who simply grabbed what he wanted from James’s plate and stuffed it in his mouth as James talked across the table to Sirius and Peter, and then turn to hear from Remus. Lily, who looked very tired, ate in relative silence, only nodding or shaking her head when someone addressed her.

Concerned for her friend, Mary leaned forward, “Lily? Are you alright?”

She nodded, “just tired. Being cooped up inside all day,” she took a breath, “this is the first time we’ve been outside in half a year.” She looked at James for conformation, he nodded.

Before Mary could say her condolences, Dumbledore stood from his spot at the table. “Good evening.” Was all he said, and was all it took to silence every side conversation. “First, I would like for us to observe a moment for Benjy Fenwick, who, as Alastor has informed me, was found dead in his home.”

There was a collective gasp around the table. “Benjy?” Elphias asked, “but he was so bright, so strong.” The older man had personally tutored Benjy, everyone could see the tears welling up in his eyes, despite how hard he tried to hide them.

“Found only the bits of him.” Alastor said, though if he were trying to be comforting, he failed. Elphias put his napkin to his mouth, as if to hide his silent, gaping, shocked, expression.

“How awful.” Alice was absentmindedly petting Phoenix with worry.

Mary had always thought Benjy was a handsome young man. He’d had tanned skin, thick, curly hair, and had just recently started growing his facial hair out. Benjy was tall, with a broad, muscular build, but even so he’d shown his gracefulness in battle before. He was smart, and dripped with sarcasm. He was about five years older than Mary, “to die, so young.” Mary thought with a frown as everyone bowed their heads respectfully.

“Second, Caradoc Dearborn is still missing. This is the third month he has been missing. No family or friends have heard from him, they assume him dead, and I believe that may be true.”

“Poor lad.” Edgar shook his head, “such a waste of potential.” Caradoc had been one of their best strategists and duelers after Frank and Alastor. His disappearance shocked the entire Order. If he was killed, the Death Eaters had disposed of his body too well, for no one, not even Alastor could find him.

“Third,” Dumbledore took the attention back, “as I’m sure you are all aware we have a little guest with us this evening. She is sitting on the table in front of Mrs. Longbottom.” Everyone turned to face Phoenix, and Mary had the strangest urge to take hold of the girl and hide her from everyone. “Everyone, this is Phoenix Macdonald,” Mary felt as if she’d been shot. The world went dark and quiet, but she could still hear Dumbledore, as if he’d submerged her head underwater and began giving a speech. “Formerly Malfoy, Miss Macdonald has agreed to keep and raise Phoenix as her own daughter.”

“Why? If she’s a Malfoy, she’s got family.” Rubeus asked.

“Phoenix has powerful weather magic,” there was a collective gasp, “and thus, she has been selected to grow powerful and protect the Potters.” Dumbledore explained.

“We never asked for this,” Lily clarified after a long silence, “professor, you can’t have kidnapped her, what if her family comes looking for her?”

“They won’t.” Dumbledore insisted gently.

“Like hell,” Fabian said, “her face is plastered all across The Daily Prophet.”

“They won’t find her.” Dumbledore reassured them. “As it is, if she were returned now, Miss Macdonald would be found out and surely killed or sent to Azkaban.” If Mary had been shot before, this was the killing blow. Dumbledore was using her relationships with her friends to keep any of them from talking about Phoenix. There was no other choice now. Phoenix Malfoy was gone.

Everyone was looking at her, some with pity, some with fear, some with admiration, and some with anger. Mary wasn’t sure if Dumbledore had wanted her to say something in her own defense, but if he had he didn’t seem to want to wait too long. “Now,” Everyone slowly turned their attention back to Dumbledore, “for the real reason we are here.”

Mary felt her stomach knot up, suddenly all the food she’d eaten wanted to make a guest appearance on her plate. She couldn’t focus on Dumbledore’s words. Mary had admired him so much back at Hogwarts, she thought he was the smartest wizard in the entire world, he could stare at someone like You-Know-Who and not once buckle under his power. Dumbledore was the most powerful wizard in history as far as Mary was concerned, and there he was, using her life as a bargaining chip.

She wanted to get up and leave, but this was her house. Where was she to go? She couldn’t leave. This was the Order’s safehouse, if there was ever an emergency she would have to be here. The walls and portraits knew too many secrets to be trusted alone with an intruder. Mary didn’t realize it, but Phoenix had leaned over from Alice’s lap and placed both of her open palms on Mary’s lap. Suddenly, her lap felt warm, and Mary looked at Phoenix for the first time since Dumbledore had started speaking. Phoenix let out a bubbly laugh, leaning back to clap her hands.

“I’m so sorry, Phoenix.” Mary thought, “You’ve been kidnapped and given a role you never asked for.”

“Finally,” Dumbledore said, getting Mary’s attention once again, “I would like for us to take a picture together.”

If an outsider had been watching, they would have been able to hear a quill drop. There was silence. Pure silence. Even the two small children did not make a sound. And then, there was talking.

“A picture? But I’m not dressed for such a thing!” Dorcas whined, pulling the brim of her witch’s hat down over her ears.

“And how am I supposed to fit in a picture, professor?” Rubeus guffawed.

“Albus, is now really the time?” Elphias asked, his eyes still red from earlier in the meeting.

“Our numbers are dwindling,” Dumbledore said, his words echoed like a hammer pounding the last nail in the coffin, “let us remember these good times.” He smiled and, as if everyone had forgotten how the meeting had started, everyone began readying themselves for the picture.

“Let’s take it over here!” Emmiline pointed at the two windows on the left wall, “Between the windows.” Slowly, everyone shuffled over between the windows, save for Mary and Lily.

“I cannot believe this is happening.” Lily said, moving to stand next to Mary, Harry in her arms.

“I know.” Mary said, Phoenix was in her arms, having taken her from Alice.

“I get the picture is so we can remember this night, but I can’t help but feel it’s because of how many people we’ve lost.” Lily sounded exhausted.

Mary chewed on her lip, perhaps she and Lily weren’t on the same page. Mary couldn’t believe everyone had just accepted Dumbledore using her as a pawn in the war, “Then again,” she glanced at Lily, “maybe we are on the same page.”

“Ladies,” Fabian waved Lily and Mary over, “We won’t bite.” He and Gideon had a laugh.

“I’ll go over if you do.” Lily set Harry down on an armchair. Harry opened and closed his hand at his father. In a moment of joy, James excitedly waved back at his son.

Mary sighed and smiled, “Fine.” She set Phoenix down next to Harry, “you two behave.”

Once Lily and Mary were standing with the other members of the Order, Dumbledore flicked his wand. A camera was transfigured from a dinner plate, “One.” Dumbledore said, “two, three.” The camera flashed.


	2. Marlene McKinnon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an FYI, this story is also posted on Fanfiction.net, I use the same username there, so if you want to read ahead you can google "Phoenix Malfoy, Acro111" click on the link that takes you to Fanfiction. This is technically the "edited" version. Cleaned up a few grammar mistakes and changed a few small things here and there to make sense.

“Oh, Mary!” Marlene’s mother, Love McKinnon, cupped Mary’s face and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. She then hugged Mary tightly, careful not to squish Phoenix, “It’s so good to see you, darling.” She let go and looked at Phoenix. “And you must be little Nixy,” Love tweaked Phoenix’s nose. The little girl giggled. 

Love McKinnon had her long, wavy, grey hair pulled back with a single black ribbon. She was a springy eighty-four year old, having children well into her seventies. Marlene was the tenth of twelve children, being born when Love was sixty-three. Today, Love wore a multi-coffee-colored sleeved dress that fell just past her knees, her usual bright, sparkling purple robe, and fuzzy pink house slippers that looked like bears. Love looked just like any old, sweet, adorable grandmother, who just wanted to spend her days baking and knitting. 

Mary let Love take Phoenix from her arms, cooing and claiming that if age hadn’t caught up to her she would still be having children. “But I’m sure Alvino would have had something to say to that.” Mary smiled sympathetically. Alvino, Love’s husband of sixty-five years, had passed away two years ago. 

“Mom,” Marlene groaned, “you’re so lewd.” She had her hair in a braid today. 

Love just laughed, “Do you mind if I play with her? It’s been so long since a baby’s been in the house.”

“Of course!” Mary insisted, dropping off Phoenix’s care bag by the front door. 

“Sorry about her.” Marlene joked, “She’s just baby crazy.”

“Well considering how big your family is,” Mary laughed “it doesn’t surprise me.” She looked at the McKinnon family portrait hanging in the living room that was taken just three years ago. All fifty three McKinnon’s were accounted for. 

“Don’t remind me.” Marlene groaned, “And just last week, Fabian and Gideon were talking about how their sister was expecting her seventh child! I think she’s trying to give my mom a run for her money.”

“Insane.” Was all Mary could say, she could never imagine having twelve children, let alone seven, or even one! But Love had managed to crank out twelve healthy children, who in turn gave her grandchildren and great grandchildren to spoil. “Some people were just born to be mothers.” Mary supposed. “Who all is here, anyways?” Mary followed Marlene to the large dining table, discarding her jacket on the couch were Love was now playing with Phoenix.

“Everyone, really.” Marlene sighed, “Chester’s wife just passed last week.” 

“Oh no,” Mary said, though she wasn’t sure how sympathetic to be. Marlene’s oldest brother, Chester, was sixty-six. He’d been forty-five when Marlene had been born, and mostly out of the picture while she grew up. Chester had grandchildren who were just a few years younger than Marlene. 

“Yeah, so he’s been living here.” Marlene drummed her fingers on the table, “His kids and grandkids should be coming over anytime soon.” Mary’s head spin trying to keep track of everyone. Marlene laughed, “It’s a lot to take in. I’m part of this family and I still get things confused.” 

“Okay,” Mary sat down next to Marlene, “tell me again about your family tree.” Although Mary’s family was also large, there had to be something about being born into the family.  
There was Love and Alvino, who married straight out of Hogwarts and began having children the following year.

Chester was their oldest at sixty-six, then Star, Carnation, Rose, Celeste, Alvin, Barry, Firoze, Trevyn, Marlene, Gwendolyn, and Kellan coming in at a young eighteen years old.  
Mary could tell who was who up to that point, but after that things got messy. 

“Grandma?” A knock at the door, “It’s me, Alvino.” A voice called. Another McKinnon, Carnation, got the door. “Hey, Auntie, where’s dad?” Alvino, supposedly the exact replica of his father and grandfather, came in with the late August heat, two young girls in tow. 

“He’s upstairs, your Uncle Firoze has been trying to get him to eat.” Carnation looked up the stairs sadly, “Maybe seeing his granddaughters will help him,” Carnation smiled at the two young girls Alvino had brought. Without saying a word, the two girls ran up the stairs, calling for Chester. 

Alvino looked at the long table at Marlene and Mary, “Hey, squirt. Don’t tell me mom’s had another baby.” He pointed at Love who was alternating between holding Phoenix on her lap, and up in the air above her. Phoenix seemed to be having a blast.

“Nope, it’s my friends.” Marlene said, and Mary blushed scarlet. No one had actually referred to Phoenix as her own, though she supposed Marlene did so to avoid explaining the situation. Someone kidnapping a child might not go over well with the family that seemed to be constantly reproducing. “Her name is Nix.” Mary looked at Marlene, just how much did Marlene lie to her family to cover her tracks? Alvino said no more and headed up the stairs to see his father.

“So, what are your plans?” Marlene asked, “Just keep having us over until you get the hang of this ‘mommy’ thing?” She had turned back to Mary and was whispering.

“I don’t know, but I am grateful for your help.” Mary admitted, “Having her has really thrown a wrench in my plans.”

“Your plans?” Marlene asked.

“I wanted to be an Auror, like my father and Moody.” Mary clarified. “I had just started training with Moody last month. I’m was going to sign up for the Auror test in October.”

“You still could.” Marlene reassured her, “you were the strongest witch in our class.”

“Only because you convinced Remus to tutor me. And what if something were to happen to me?” She thought of Mulciber again. “Or what if someone found out about her?” Mary nodded her head towards Phoenix. Several of the McKinnon’s moved about the house, doing their own business, not paying attention to Marlene and Mary. 

“That’s just a risk you have to take, that’s what life is about.” Marlene said, leaning back. “I always wanted to be a healer, myself.”

There was a pause. “Really?” Mary laughed, “You? A healer?”

“What’s so funny about that?” Marlene pouted, which only made Mary laugh harder, “What?” She smiled and gave Mary a playful shove.

“I just,” Mary said through her laughter, “Can’t see you being at all careful with someone’s injuries.” Mary then pretended to be bandaging a limb, “Oh, is this too tight?” she asked her imaginary patient, she yanked at the pretend bandage, “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought I was the healer? Who went to healer school? Not you? Didn’t think so.” The two had a fit of giggles at the thought of rough and tough Marlene being a healer.

“What happened to playing Quidditch for the Falmouth Falcons? I thought they had offered you a spot?” Mary asked.

Marlene’s smiled dropped, “remember that fall I took our last year?” Mary nodded, “Threw my shoulder out. Apparently so far out that they withdrew their offer. It never healed properly.”  
“What? How come you never told me?” Mary asked. Marlene had been pretty upset after that accident, now that Mary recalled. She’d always assumed it was because she was out for the season, but now it made sense why, even after they won the Quidditch Cup, she’d been upset and moody.

Marlene shrugged, “didn’t seem important.” Mary could tell she was lying. 

“Important?” Mary repeated, “Marlene, you’re one of my best friends, it was important to you, so it’s important to me.” Quidditch had been Marlene’s whole life. Her family was full of pacifists who would rather be professors, healers, or any other number of non-combative, non-aggressive occupations. Being in Quidditch was what made her stand out in a family large enough to have their own country.

Marlene said nothing in response to that, and the two fell into a silence, listening to the hustle and bustle of the house, “Anyways, it’s in the past. So now I want to be a healer.” Marlene nodded her head as if reassuring herself. “Like the rest of my family.” She added quietly. The disappointment was clear in her tone.

“Well, why don’t you?” Mary asked. She’d support Marlene through anything.

“We’re not exactly swimming in galleons, Mary,” Marlene teased, “Not all of us have old birds leaving banks of money and a house to us.” 

Mary blushed again, “I’m sorry.” It was true, medical school was expensive. Mary had the luxury of being the only grandchild, she got almost everything from her grandparent’s vault and their house. Everything had been handed to her and there she was, complaining that her life was ruined because of a child.

Marlene shook her head, “I’m just teasing you. I know we’re both in tight spots right now.” Mary felt awful for her earlier comment, and so she just smiled sympathetically. Marlene stretched across the table, her arms nearly reaching the other side, “So?” she began.

“So?” Mary deadpanned before Marlene could get her entire question out. 

Marlene scowled at her, “So,” she dragged out the word, “what are your thoughts on Sirius and Remus? They’ve been hanging around an awful lot.”

Mary paused, “They’re some of our best friends? They’re foolish and childish, but can be very endearing when they want to be.” She thought about her friends, “why do you ask?” she looked across the table at Marlene who shrugged coyly.

“I was just,” Marlene grimaced, “I dunno,” she avoided looking at Mary, “thinking about them.”

“We could have met at my house.” Mary offered, “I know I wanted to get out of the house, but if you wanted to hang with them too,” she didn’t truly mean it. She wanted out of the house and would have fought tooth and nail to get out, but if she was the reason for Marlene’s discomfort or boredom then she’d do what she could to make her feel better.

“No!” Marlene said quickly, she stopped and leaned back, “I mean-I just,” she groaned and put her face in her hands. She looked up, chin on her arms, “me and Sirius were talking the other day about the war.” Mary stayed silent, not wanting to interrupt, “and then we got to talking about Phoenix. Then Harry-and,” Marlene sighed distractedly, “you should have seen him talking about Harry, it was so cute.”

Mary blurted, “You like Sirius?” she immediately regretted it once she’d said it.

Marlene was glaring daggers at her, “No!” She insisted. After a beat her gaze softened, “I mean.” She buried her face in her hands again, “I don’t know.” She admitted. “I just-the thought of him having a child of his own popped into my head and then I was like,” Marlene sat up and put a finger to her chin, as if she’d just gotten an idea, “huh, I wonder what it’d be like to have a kid myself? I’ve been around children my whole life. It would totally be easy.” Marlene seemed to be rambling to herself now, but Mary let her continue, “And then,” Marlene’s face turned bright red, “I thought about having kids with Sirius! Oh Merlin, can you believe me?!” Marlene looked ashamed of herself, “Me and Sirius? Together? Me and Sirius? As parents?” She looked distressed.

“I think you two would be cute together.” Mary insisted. In fact, nearly everyone in their final year had a betting pool to see how long it’d take for Sirius to ask Marlene out. Mary had lost a few good Galleons to his cowardice. The two always had a kind of teasing, childlike, fun between them, but it grew to be sexually tense after a particular wild night of spin-the-bottle at James’s end of summer party before their final year. In truth, Mary didn’t remember much of that night, but she did remember how awkward and tense things got between Sirius and Marlene after that. It was all harmless of course, just the two getting close to each other’s faces in shouting matches over every little thing. Their hands would start off pushing the other away, but gradually move to pulling the other closer. Remus usually had to be the one to break the two apart.

“But that’d be weird!” Marlene argued. She looked torn between admitting her crush and denying it to the day she would die.

“Why would it be weird?” Mary snickered. Marlene was the flirt of the dormitory. If she had a crush then everyone knew. 

“Because I used to date Remus! Remember?” Marlene said, “And you’re not supposed to date your ex’s friends!”

Mary had completely forgotten that Marlene and Remus had dated. Did it count if all they did was snog for a week straight and then pretend like they didn’t know each other for six whole months afterwards? That explained why Remus was the one to break up the fights between the two. He knew exactly how to break the two apart and calm them.

“So?” Mary finally asked. Her stomach was knotting up uncomfortably, “If you like Sirius, then go for him.” 

“You don’t think Remus would mind?” Marlene asked. 

“Why do you care if he cares?” Mary asked sharply without meaning too. “We are all adults now, it shouldn’t matter.” She reasoned.

Marlene didn’t seem to notice. “What if he tells Sirius about our relationship and then it ruins my relationship with him?” She seemed genuinely concerned.

Mary laughed, “I doubt Remus would care.” She didn’t know why it bothered her so much that Marlene thought Remus would care about Marlene’s relationship with Sirius. “It’s probably because we were all friends first. And then Marlene had to go make things awkward by dating Remus.” Mary thought. The six months after they ‘dated’ was nothing short of awkward. Lily and Mary often being caught in the middle of the mess. If Marlene wanted to say or ask anything to Remus’s friends then she would just beg Mary or Lily to carry the message. And vice versa, if Remus needed anything from Mary or Lily he’d ask James, Sirius or Peter to talk to them. Mary didn’t want another repeat of that.

Just then, Phoenix let out a cry, “Oh shhh,” Love cooed, “nothing is wrong, nothing is the matter.”

“What happened, mom?” Marlene asked, she didn’t sound too concerned. After all, her mother had raised twelve kids, and had a hand helping raise her grandkids and great grandkids. 

“She grabbed for one of the toys in the bag,” Love explained, rocking Phoenix expertly, despite the girls squirming, “I went to grab it, came back, gave it to her, and now she’s crying.” Love went back to quieting and cuddling Phoenix.

Mary walked over and sat next to Love on the couch. She tried to help the older woman soothe the little girl. The girl had no control on her powers, but the fact that the rain made such a loud ruckus against the McKinnon’s little cabin made soothing the girl no easier. 

“What is wrong with this child?” Marlene whined, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes, “One moment, she’s fine. The next she’s gone wild.” 

Then, just as suddenly as the crying had started, it stopped. Phoenix, covered in tears and snot, suddenly began to shiver. “Oh my God, oh my God! Marlene!” Love began screaming, Mary looked Phoenix over, “Marlene, quick, grab some blankets! She’s gone cold as ice!” Panic began to settle in as Phoenix’s skin started to turn blue and cracked. Phoenix whimpered and shivered, her wide eyes looked around fearfully, not once noticing Mary or Love who was trying desperately to warm her up. 

“Stop,” Marlene was half standing when she suddenly whispered sharply. Mary looked at her, shocked at the outburst. Phoenix continued to shiver, looking around as if she were lost. “Someone’s outside.” Mary wasn’t sure if it was the freezing child on her lap, or the fact that none of Marlene’s safety charms had alerted them, but her blood ran cold. 

“What?” Love asked, “Impossible, we have protections up, we would have heard.” A few other McKinnon’s came downstairs to see what the fuss was about, but Marlene hissed at them to stay put and hidden.

“Did you see who?” Mary reached for her discarded jacket on the couch, she bundled up Phoenix as securely as she could. Her whimpering stopped, and she’d stopped turning blue, but Phoenix continued to shiver, now with her head bowed as if she was hiding from whatever was making her cold. She took Phoenix from Love’s arms and slowly moved back by the table, where Marlene was standing.

“No.” Marlene whispered, just then the lights in the house went out. Both women stood silently, wands drawn. “They were cloaked.” 

“What’s happening?” An older woman asked.

“I dunno, Aunt Marlene said to stay still.” Another voice said.

“Death Eaters!” Mary’s mind screamed. She had to get Phoenix back to the safety of her own house, but she couldn’t leave Marlene and her family (most of who were old anyways) to defend themselves. “If they got in without being traced,” she whispered to Marlene who had crept behind a cupboard, “then we can get out without being traced.”

Marlene nodded, “Okay.” She reached towards the chair she’d been sitting out, grabbing for her jacket. “Mom,” she whispered across the room, “get ready to grab everyone and apparate.” 

No one heard the spell that blew the door off its hinges. Phoenix screamed and Mary ducked behind the table as Marlene tipped it over for cover. “You have to get her out of here!” Marlene insisted, peeking up to throw a spell at the intruder. It sounded as if a dozen pairs of feet were thundering through the house. Curses and jinxes rocked the table. Marlene ducked down as a curse whizzed by her head. She popped back up only a second later to return the attack. Someone screamed for Love, and the screams of Marlene’s family filled the air. Mary peeked around the table and saw Love limp -dead- on the couch, one of the youngest McKinnon’s was at her feet, dead. Mary felt horrible, she didn’t even know the little girl’s name.

“We have to get out of here!” Mary reminded her, a dark shape moved from the side door, Mary pointed around Marlene and sent the figure flying back against the wall. Sure enough, as her spell flew through the dark she could see the glow of a Death Eaters mask. Phoenix had not stopped wailing, only making the situation louder and tenser. Marlene cried out and grabbed her shoulder, a cutting curse had hit her and was slicing open her arm. She ducked back down behind the table, noticing the fallen Death Eater just a few feet beyond the door next to her. Marlene waved her wand, the cupboard she’d been hiding behind just moments ago now slid over to block the doorway. Mary tried to keep Phoenix in her arms, but the girl insisted on squirming, they had to get out of there and fast. Marlene had returned to peeking up and shooting the advancing Death Eaters.

“Hold onto me!” Mary called out to Marlene over the explosions of curses. In that second’s distraction where Marlene turned to face Mary and reach out to her, a speedy, green curse landed right on its mark. The killing curse hit Marlene in the chest, knocking the young woman to the ground like a ragdoll. The curse spread across her body and by the time Marlene’s head had hit the floor, her eyes were already glazed over. 

Mary screamed.

Phoenix screamed.

There was a pulling sensation.

And then, there was silence.

They were back home, Remus was sitting on one of her lounge chairs, reading. Sirius could be heard rustling around in the kitchen. Remus looked at Mary in shock, “What are you doing back so soon? Mary? Why are you on the floor?” he got up and helped Mary up, one hand on her elbow, the other on her back, “Why is Phoenix wrapped up like that? Mary?” Remus grabbed her shoulders, and she realized she was crying, “Why are you crying?”

“Crying?” Sirius came in, food in his mouth. His jaw dropped when he saw the scene before him. He swallowed hard, “Mary?” He put his food down on the coffee table and stood beside Remus, “What’s happened?”

Her head swam with a million thoughts. If Benjy was found in bits, what was to stop the Death Eaters from doing the same to Marlene? And what if they could only find a few bits? What if they completely disposed of her body and they couldn’t find her, like Caradoc? What was happening to her family? She had to go back. Mary’s heart was racing, and her head throbbed with a million different thoughts.

“Mary?” Remus shook her once again. Mary looked down, somehow, Sirius had taken Phoenix from her and was watching her with confusion.  
Mary raised her head, her lower lip trembling. “Marlene,” was all she could croak out before breaking down in tears. 

“What about Marlene?” Sirius asked. Mary felt her face screw up in an unpleasant scowl as tears ran down her face.

“Death Eaters.” It felt as though a rock had formed in her throat. Mary could hardly see through her tears, but Remus had pulled her close and was running a comforting hand over her head. She cried into his chest, bunching his sweater up in her fists as she recalled through hiccups what had happened. Was it all her fault? Was it because of Phoenix? Was it just a stroke of bad luck? Bad timing? Mary began to hyperventilate. Remus continued to hold her and shush her whenever thoughts and words grew to be too much. 

Time blurred. She was standing one moment, sitting the next, and she wasn’t sure how long she cried, but she suddenly realized she was waking up. Mary was in her living room, the only light coming from the kitchen in the opposite corner.

“You can’t just run over there, what if they’re still there?” Remus’s voice whispered through the otherwise quiet and still house.

“I’ll kill them myself then.” Sirius said, “Marlene was,” Sirius stopped, “she had so much life. She was going to play Quidditch,” Mary felt her stomach and throat knot up, Sirius didn’t know. “She was going to go places.”

“Sirius,” Remus sighed, there was silence and a shuffle, “I know how you felt about Marlene.” Mary paused in her silent crying to listen, “But, you can’t just go off into the battlefield. How would Lily and James feel if you went and made a stupid mistake like that? Wait until Moody can confirm the news, then you can go see for yourself.”

“You’re right.” Another shuffle, “as usual. You’re always right.”

“I’m not always right.” Remus insisted.

“Whatever.” Sirius said, “Did you see the state Mary was in when she came back?” He asked after a beat of silence.

Remus hummed in response, “She didn’t even notice she was splinched.” Mary gasped. The boys grew silent, Mary tried to even her breathing to make it seem like she was still asleep. Thankfully, the boys believed it.

“I’ve never seen a splinch across the torso like that. It’s usually just a little clip of you.” Sirius whispered. “Never seen one so violent.” Mary lifted her shirt, she’d have to thank Remus later, he probably knew how to whip up a potion to heal her torso, but faint oval shaped pale marks littered her skin. Almost as though someone took a spoon to her skin and scooped bits of her out. How had she screwed up apparating so badly?

“Well she was on the run from Death Eaters.” Remus mused. “I’m grateful Phoenix wasn’t harmed in the process.”

Where was Phoenix? Mary craned her neck around, but couldn’t find the toddler in the living room. Perhaps the boys had put her to had. Mary’s head throbbed, she didn’t want to think too hard about it.

“This is crazy, this is,” Sirius took a deep breath, “this is crazy,” he said again and again. “I’m going back to the pad to shower, you coming?”

“I’ll stay with Mary in case she needs help when she wakes.” Remus answered.

There was silence for a moment, then some shuffling, “Now’s not the time to be falling in love, mate.” Sirius said. “Trust me.”

“You don’t think I miss her too?” Remus hissed. “You don’t think I want Marlene to walk through the door right this second?”

“Not the way I want her to.” Sirius said. In a different time and place someone would have thought his words were provocative and Sirius would have earned a smart smack on the arm for that kind of remark. But Mary knew Sirius meant it humbly. Marlene would never walk through the door. She’d never do anything again. She was gone. “I’m just saying,” Mary listened back in on the conversation, “don’t get attached to Mary and not tell her. Don’t risk losing her and not telling her how you feel.”

“And what am I supposed to do after I tell her?” Remus demanded. “What woman would want me? Me?!” Remus accusingly asked. “With my,” he trailed off.

“Furry problem?” Sirius offered.

“Shut up.” Remus snapped, “It’s bad enough Dumbledore has dumped this kid on her. Do you think a love confession is what she really needs right now? Especially from me? Especially after Marlene? What if she hates me?”

“Hates you? Mate,” There was more shuffling, “Mary was the first person you willingly told about your problem. What did she think about it then?”

Remus didn’t answer for a few seconds. Mary’s heart had jumped to her throat, she tried to be completely silent. “She didn’t care.” Remus finally answered. “She just wanted you lot to take care of me.”

“And she won’t care now. She knows what you are. She knows the risks of just being friends with you. And she has been your friend this whole time.” Sirius said. Mary felt a small ounce of respect for Sirius. He was actually being, well, serious! “Besides, I hear fleas make a girl squirm.” And there went all her respect for him, out the window. Goodbye respect.

“I should kill you.” Remus laughed softly.

“Least I’d be with Marlene.” Sirius responded, suddenly dampening the mood of the house.

Mary was suddenly very awake and very alert. She sat up, she could hear the boys shush each other and decided to take her time getting up and walking over to the kitchen. She brought the blanket that had been laid on her with her, wrapping it around her shoulders like a cape. “Hello.” She said, pretending she hadn’t been eavesdropping for the past five minutes. Sirius looked as though he’d done a lot of angry crying, his face was red and wet from tears. He looked tense and ready to strike. Remus, on the other hand, looked exhausted, and while he too had been crying, the only indication were the dried tear streaks on his face.

“How are you feeling?” Remus asked cautiously.

“Where’s Phoenix?” she asked in return. She wasn’t sure how she was feeling, and after overhearing their conversation she wasn’t sure what she should be feeling.

The boys shared a look, “I put her to bed just a little while ago.” Sirius finally answered. “Are you alright? You didn’t get hurt did you?”

Mary did a mental check of herself, nothing felt broken or bloody, “I’m fine.” She answered, not letting on that she knew about the splinching. “Just,” she took a deep breath, “shocked.” She hugged her torso. In reality, she felt like she was going to be sick.

“We all are.” Remus said, and for a moment no one said anything. 

In silence, Sirius conjured up three glasses, each filled with firewhisky. Remus and Mary looked at Sirius who fiddled with his glass and looked like he wanted to say something. Instead, he shook his head, raised his glass and then tipped the entire glass back into his mouth. Remus and Mary followed his toast, Mary trying hard to remember each name and face of Marlene’s family.

Maybe one of them somehow survived. If anyone would know, it would be Moody, and it would be tomorrow. For night had fallen and word would surely spread in the next day’s paper. Sirius left not much later, wishing them both goodnight. 

“Will you be alright?” Remus asked. They stood at the window by the front of the house, watching Sirius disappear.

“No.” Mary wanted to say, she didn’t want to be alone, but after overhearing the conversation between Remus and Sirius, she wasn’t sure she wanted him there with her. “Yes.” Mary finally choked the words out. “I’ll be fine.” She’d been saying that a lot lately, and she wasn’t sure it was entirely true anymore.

“I’ll stay in case you need anything.” Remus insisted. Mary didn’t argue with him, instead, she just smiled politely and shuffled off to the stairs. After what felt like a long, treacherous climb, Mary reached the top of the stairs. Phoenix’s door was open and the little girl was sound asleep inside. If Phoenix hadn’t thrown a fit, Marlene might have never looked out the window, they could all be dead. Mary shivered at the thought. Then the balance of the war would be tipped back in You-Know-Who’s favor. 

“Mary?” She weakly turned to Remus. He looked so young in the shadows of the hallway. “I’m glad you’re safe.” 

Mary only nodded. What was the point if her best friend died right in front of her? Why had she said anything? Millions of different scenarios ran through her head, and just when she thought her head would pop from pressure, she smiled weakly at Remus.

“Good night, Remus.”

“Good night, Mary.”

Mary turned and pushed herself to keep moving and she finally found her way to her bed. Not bothering to change or even kick her shoes off, Mary collapsed on her bed.

When she woke the next morning, it was to the smell of something on the verge of burning. The shock of yesterday hit Mary like a ton of bricks and she bolted out of bed to her bathroom. Mary’s throat was on fire, she tried her best to throw up, coughing up a storm over her toilet. Instead, she dry heaved for a few minutes before the tickle in her throat and knot in her stomach finally settled down. Her eyes were watery, and she dabbed the tears away before splashing her face with water. Her face had gotten blotchy and puffy by the time she was done drying her face off. She looked horrible. 

Just then, the burning smell hit her again. Quickly, but quietly, Mary crept out of her bathroom, trying to listen to any small sound her house had to give to her. 

“Well if you have a better idea, I’d love to hear it, little one.” Remus said from downstairs. Mary looked down the stairs quizzically, who on earth was Remus talking to? Mary relaxed and continued down the stairs. When she turned into the kitchen she saw Remus with his hands on his hips and giving a suspicious glare to Phoenix who was in her high chair laughing. Somehow, a pair of eggs had made their home on the ceiling and another pair were floating just out of reach over Remus’s head. 

“What is going on here?” Mary asked, Remus immediately stood at full height and turned on his heels to face her.

“Oh! You’re up.” Remus stated, “I,” he trailed off, “tried to make breakfast.” He waved a wand and the dirty dishes from his failed attempts filed into the sink in a single file line. Mary looked around the chaos Remus had caused in her kitchen, her face must have betrayed her thoughts because Remus sheepishly lowered his shoulders, “Sorry.” He apologized.

Mary continued to survey the scene before her, then, she laughed. “What have you done to my kitchen?” she rubbed her face, trying to wake up now that the adrenaline from her morning had faded. She continued to laugh as Remus attempted to defend himself. She laughed so much that Phoenix joined in, warming the room with her giggles. “Here.” Mary waved her own wand, the dishes moved quicker, leaving the sink squeaky clean in half the time they would have taken if left at Remus’s speed. The two eggs on the ceiling peeled back and dropped themselves in the bin, and the two hovering over Remus followed them to the trash. “Let’s try this again.”

Mary helped Remus get his charms down correctly. The kitchen ware was a little wobbly under his wand’s instructions, but no food ended up on the ceiling, floor, or hovering in midair. “Was Phoenix fed?” Mary asked as she waved two plates over to Remus. 

“Yes, and,” Remus blushed, “she’s been,” he shook his head, “she’s been taken care of.” He resolved. 

“You changed her?” Mary asked. Remus’s awkward silence confirmed her question, and Mary couldn’t help but giggle some more. Remus smiled at her over his shoulder, and Mary remembered the conversation she’d overheard the night before. Her smile dropped and she turned her attention back to Phoenix who was clapping.

“Have you heard from Sirius or Moody?” Mary asked, “Or anyone?” she added.

“No.” Remus said, her question had sucked all of the happiness from the kitchen as they fell into a somber silence. Remus finished cooking and he brought two plates over to Mary, setting one down in front of her and one down in front of another chair. Just as Remus was taking his seat, a soft pop came from outside. 

Mary’s heart seized, what if it was the Death Eaters? What if they’d found her? Her hands began to shake and she stood quickly, her wand drawn. She scooped Phoenix up, “will you check that?” she asked, ready for a fight. Phoenix looked at her in confusion and pushed her shoulder.

Remus was already walking out the kitchen, his wand drawn. “Who’s there?” He called. Mary clutched Phoenix tightly, eyes squeezing shut as she tired to map out all the places she could take cover should the need arise. Phoenix squirmed, voicing her discomfort. “It’s alright.” Mary’s eyes shot open, “it’s Sirius and Moody.”

Mary could feel every fiber in her body relax as she slipped Phoenix back into her highchair. Remus returned with Sirius and Moody, all men looked miserable. “So?” She asked, looking at Moody who looked like he’d rather be anywhere but there.

“No one made it.” Moody said, she could tell it genuinely upset him. So many good witches and wizards lost. “The entire clan. Gone.” Mary thought she’d gotten all of her tears out the day before, but when she saw Sirius clench his fist and turn away, she couldn’t help but let a few more tears loose. “Damn cowards. Attacking defenseless children.” Moody said, but Mary could no longer see through her tears.

“And Marlene?” She croaked out.

“Well they didn’t do to her like they did to Benjy.” Moody took a breath, trying to keep himself calm in the presence of the three. 

“Maybe that means they didn’t know she was in the Order?” Remus suggested quietly.

“So, they just killed her because she’s got a big family?” Sirius asked, his voice was sharp. “They just killed her because You-Know-Who figured her family could all cause some sort of revolution?” 

“I’m just saying,” Remus started to get riled up, when Phoenix babbled and clapped her hands he relaxed, “it’s possible.” He weakly admitted.

No one said anything. Mary wanted to curl up on the floor and drown in her tears. Marlene had been her best friend since before Hogwarts. Her grandparents and Marlene’s parents had been best friends. Marlene always had Mary’s back, even when bullies tried to put them down. Marlene had been the one to suggest getting tutored by Remus for defense. If it hadn’t been for any of them, she wouldn’t have become the strongest witch of their age. 

And yet, she had been unable to save even one McKinnon. Mary looked at Phoenix through her tears. “It’s all your fault.” She wanted to say, “Everything was fine until you showed up.” She wanted to personally drop Phoenix back off at Malfoy manor. But, now that all the McKinnon’s had been killed, Mary felt she owed it to them to see this mission through.


	3. October 31st 1981

Mary had just gotten the energy to get through the day back after Marlene’s death when an unrecognizable owl swooped into her open living room window. Startled, as she had not been expecting any news, Mary nearly blew the poor owl into bits. Phoenix laughed at Mary's sudden movement, wand outstretched, startled scream still escaping her tight throat. When Phoenix clapped her hands Mary's wand went flying across the room.

“Not.” Mary stood up, “funny.” She reached into a jar on the mantle and pulled out a few owl treats. The frightened owl dropped the letter and then took off, only taking what it could quickly grab from Mary's hand as it left. “Sorry.” She called after the owl. After glancing around outside, Mary decided to close the windows. It was a shame, for it would most likely be the last good day for the year. The leaves on the trees were starting to change colors, and the air was beginning to feel crisp. Autumn was coming.

When Mary turned around she saw Phoenix floating the letter just out of reach. “Seriously, child?” Mary asked, climbing precariously on the coffee table to retrieve the letter from midair. “Again,” she stepped down and waved the letter in Phoenix’s face, “not funny.”

Phoenix only giggle and Mary smiled. The letter had no address on it, it wasn’t sealed with any kind of insignia, and it felt as if it were just an empty envelope. Mary frowned and retrieved her wand from the other side of the room. Hesitant, Mary poked it with her wand, “reveal yourself.” The tip of her wand began to glow, but nothing happened. Mary looked at Phoenix who had been mesmerized by her wand, “Guess that means it’s safe.” She shrugged at the little girl.

Mary tore the envelope open, a simple, small bit of parchment sat inside. “F and G gone on a trip. D personally escorted by him, numbers dwindling. Stay safe. Fawkes.” Mary’s hands began to shake. Three dead. Marlene had just been killed two weeks ago, and now three more were gone. Fabian, Gideon, and Dorcas. Poor Dorcas, none of them had listened to her when she said she felt You-Know-Who snooping around.

“Three more.” Mary whispered. She threw the letter in the fireplace.

The days got darker and colder, tensions outside were so thick, Mary was afraid she’d coke on it if she dared go outside. Remus, and Sirius often came over to help with Phoenix. Sometimes one or both of them would spend the night, which Mary didn’t mind.

Being alone in her grandparents large, empty house only caused her mind to wander. Some nights she woke silently, calmly, her ears playing tricks on her. She could still hear the screams of Marlene’s family. Other nights she would bolt upright, screaming and brandishing her wand, the flash of the killing curse burned onto her eyes. Sometimes someone would hear her. Remus or Sirius would come and comfort her. When she was alone she would pass by lost in memories until the first light of day breached her window. Only when the sun began to twinkle in the room would Mary come to her senses.

On the first of October, Mary was pleasantly surprised by Alice and Frank showing up to her house in the middle of the day. “We thought about sending an owl,” Alice hugged Mary tightly, “but didn’t want it to be intercepted after Dumbledore’s last coded message.”

“I understand.” Mary smiled tightly. She noticed the little butterball in Frank’s arms and leaned over to be eye level, “you must be Neville.” She ruffled the little boy’s hair. He had Alice’s messy dark hair, but his father’s warm eyes.

“We haven’t had much time to be with Neville, what with work.” Frank explained, “and you’ve been cooped up here with Phoenix, so we figured we’d set up a playdate.”  
“How sweet of you,” Mary smiled, unsure of how she was supposed to respond to the idea. After an awkward beat of silence she quickly added, “Sure, of course.” She stood aside and looked at Phoenix who had somehow teleported her favorite stuffed owl from her crib upstairs to her arms. She narrowed her eyes at the little girl for being so sneaky. Frank went and sat Neville next to Phoenix, pulling toy after toy out of the care bag they’d brought.

“How’ve you been since Dumbledore’s last letter?” Alice asked, laying a hand on Mary’s shoulder as she stepped inside.

“Fine.” Mary admitted, she closed the door behind them, “Remus and Sirius have been very helpful with Phoenix since I still don’t have the hang of this ‘mommy’ thing down.”

“Believe me,” Alice sighed with a dreamy smile, “Neville is my own child and I still don’t have the hang of this ‘mommy’ thing.” Alice repeated with a grin. “But it is so rewarding, and seeing them grow up so fast,” she looked content, “there’s nothing better.” She relaxed into an armchair.

“That’s nice of Remus and Sirius to help out.” Frank smiled, “I wish my mom would stop helping out.” He sat on the ground by Phoenix and Neville.

Mary glanced at Alice who was holding back snickers, “Why’s that?” she cautiously asked as she sat on the couch.

“She won’t stop trying to force magic out of him.” Frank motioned to Neville, “I keep telling her he’ll show us when he’s ready.”

“Phoenix has already shown a lot of magic prowess.” Mary said, before realizing she sounded like a bragging mother, “just small things,” she quickly added, “floating things, and such.” She slumped a little further in her seat.

Sitting on the floor together, Neville attempted to take Phoenix’s toy owl. Phoenix smartly smacked his hand away, Neville looked at her with shock and his eyes began to water. Quickly, Phoenix turned and shoved a different toy that Frank had brought at the other boy.

“I never know what’s good behavior and what isn’t.” Mary said, leaning forward with her chin in her hands, “how am I supposed to discipline her?”

“It’s a trial and error thing.” Alice admitted, “sometimes you don’t think a behavior is bad until they’ve done it a few times.”

“Like Neville throwing his food at my mother.” Frank laughed, “funny the first ten times, not so much after that.”

“Yeah.” Alice admitted with a nod, watching the children with great interest, “it’s still funny sometimes.” She admitted.

“It is.” Frank looked at Mary with a nod.

Mary laughed, “well some days,” Mary trailed off, “when it hits me that Marlene is gone,” her voice got quieter, Alice and Frank both looked at her gloomily, “it’s nice to see Phoenix put up a fuss against Remus and Sirius.” Mary realized she was looking off into the distance and apologized before leaning back in her chair and smiling at Frank and Alice.

“If you ever need help,” Frank began.

“Help from actual parents,” Alice added.

Frank nodded in agreement, “We’re just an owl away.” He smiled.

Mary smiled back, Frank and Alice had been a few years ahead of Mary and the others, but they were still close. Alice and Marlene having both played on the Quidditch team for Gryffindor meant spending many trips to Hogsmeade together when the team would go out to celebrate or have a pre-game party. To Mary, Frank and Alice were the ultimate couple. Powerful, smart, cute, and now with the most adorable baby to boot. They were everything, Mary realized, she eventually wished she could have.

They spent the day chatting away as if there were no war going on outside, as if it were just a regular playdate between regular children. And all too soon, Mary realized Alice and Frank had to go. She would be left alone in her big house, with a child that wasn’t hers, and a war sitting on her shoulders. Mary took a moment to close her eyes, she couldn’t imagine the stress Lily and James were going through to keep Harry safe. Neville and Phoenix ended up getting along so well they actually pouted at being separated. It took Frank distracting Neville with tickles for the Longbottom’s to leave.

Mary smiled and waved at them from inside her house, watching as they apparated away. Suddenly, she was very aware of how lonely she was. Marlene had gotten into the habit of visiting everyday since Phoenix was given to her. Then, once she’d been killed, Sirius and Remus had taken to visiting her at least for a little bit each day. Mary suspected it was because neither could cook all that well, and she provided them with at least one meal.

“What have I gotten myself into?” Mary asked herself for what seemed like the millionth time since taking in Phoenix.

October passed with more sad news. Edgar Bones was killed the day of the next Order meeting, which ended up cancelled due to the full moon. Alice and Frank sent a picture of Neville dressed up as a dementor, “we got his costume early. We’re going to try to make friends with the muggles nearby on Halloween in order to place protective charms on them.” Alice wrote. Lily and James also sent a letter to Sirius which showed Harry whizzing around on a broom.

“I gave it to him.” Sirius proudly beamed at Remus and Mary. “His first broom.” Sirius bragged.

“Prepping him to be in Quidditch already?” Remus grinned.

“You can never start too early!” Sirius proudly declared, “Harry will become the best Quidditch player the world has ever seen!” Remus and Mary laughed as Sirius attempted to defend himself.

Autumn turned the trees the color of embers, wind started biting, and the days went straight from morning to night. On Halloween night Mary was curled up in a chair by the fire, Phoenix on her lap pretending to read the book Mary held in front of them. Sirius laid on the floor, tired from playing with Phoenix during the day. He had a baby toy laid on his chest. Remus was laying on the couch, his feet crossed, and one hand behind his head. In his free hand he propped open a book, and was tiredly reading the same page over and over again.

Mary quietly read her book aloud to Phoenix who was soaking up every word on the page, despite the fact she couldn’t understand any of it. It wasn’t until just after midnight that the room was disturbed.

Sirius suddenly sat up, “I forgot I was going to see James and Lily today!” He looked around sleepily, “I’ll be back tomorrow,” he stood up. “Good night, brat, and bigger brat.” Sirius ruffled Phoenix’s hair and Mary’s hair. “I’ll see you at the pad,” Sirius shook Remus’s elbow. “Good night!”

“Good night!” Mary and Remus called. Phoenix reached out with both hands and made a sound that sounded like ‘bye!’. Sirius disappeared outside and started up his motorcycle, having bought it in order to stop apparating and attracting attention to himself every time he went to the muggle town. At least, that was his justification, Mary suspected it was more of his way of rebelling. Against what she had no idea, but it wasn’t like Sirius to make a smart, thought through decision.

“I can’t believe the time.” Remus sat up and stretched, “I think I’ll be headed home tonight.” He relaxed with a sigh.

Mary looked at the clock, “Wow, it is rather late.” Two years ago, she would have easily stayed up past three in the morning, but now with the war and a child she had trouble staying up until ten. “Sorry for keeping you.” She stood up with Phoenix in her arms.

“It’s fine.” Remus smiled sleepily at her, “I enjoy being here with you and Phoenix,” He swallowed, “and Sirius, but I live with him, so does that even matter?” he mostly rambled to himself.

Mary laughed lightly. She looked at Remus, his green eyes looked tired and unfocused. “I hope the war ends soon.” She blurted out. Her entire body felt light and warm from sitting by the fire. “I’m so tired of being scared and lonely.”

“I’m here.” Remus pointed out. Mary watched him, “I’ll always be here.” He stood up and stepped over to her. Mary felt like she was watching the scene from outside. Her house was lit softly by the fire, her and Remus were close together, with Phoenix held carefully between them. Remus said something so quietly she could barely hear him. The clock ticking on the wall consumed her, colors and shapes blurred around her, the fire grew hotter, and Remus was getting closer. Then, as if a fog was lifted from her mind, Remus placed a soft kiss on her lips. It was so soft, and so gentle, Mary wasn’t sure they’d even made contact. Then, Remus’s hands came up to cup Mary’s cheeks, his fingers dragging along her scalp and into her hair. Mary’s breath hitched in her chest, she gasped. Remus used her newly parted lips to deepen the kiss and Mary responded in kind.

All too soon, Remus stepped back and took a breath, “I’ll,” he trailed off, “be back tomorrow.” And he was gone before Mary could protest or ask otherwise.

“Did that,” she watched him leave and apparate away, “just happen?” she looked down at Phoenix who had gone to sleep. “Oh, you’re no help.” She mumbled taking Phoenix up to her room. She laid the little girl down in her crib, brushing her feathery blonde hair away from her eyes.

With her heart still beating rapidly, Mary twirled out of Phoenix’s room and into her own. She laid down, content with the world, and ready for anything, except for the news she would receive a few hours later.

It started with the tapping and screeching from her window. Mary flinched away from the sound, turning over in bed to curl up tighter under her blankets. She wanted to pretend last night had been a wonderful dream, and stay curled up under the warmth and safety of her blankets.

The sounds grew louder and angrier. “Alright,” she grumbled, throwing the covers off herself. An angry owl was scratching at her window, “I shouldn’t pay you for that,” she said opening the window. The owl apparently didn’t care for payment as it dropped its letter and paper and took off. Mary yawned and snatched the letter and paper from the floor. She opened the letter as she walked out of her room, her heart stopping when she read its contents.

She should have been celebrating. She should have been in the streets cheering with everyone. She should have been crying with joy. Instead, Mary was hunched over in her kitchen, crying over a picture that had been taken just two months ago. She’d absentmindedly wandered downstairs as she read through Dumbledore’s vague letter and had dropped her favorite mug when she opened up the newspaper he had sent.

“You-Know-Who is dead!” The newspaper sat discarded on the floor. Everyone was celebrating across Europe, for evil seemed to finally be defeated. What many of them didn’t know was how many people had died to get to the victory.

“I’m so sorry.” Mary stroked the picture in her hands, “I’m so sorry,” she kept saying. The faces of Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadowes, Edgar Bones, Fabian and Gideon Prewett, and Lily and James Potter stared back at her. So many of her friends and loved ones were gone. The sky was gray and Phoenix was upstairs crying in her crib. Mary didn’t bother going to her, she was too numb.

Mary just kept apologizing to the smiling faces of her friends, tears splattering onto their immortalized faces. Each time she felt like she could move, she would look back at their faces and break down in another set of wails. It wasn’t until Mary became aware of the rain outside that she moved. She glanced at the clock, noting that she’d been crying for a solid four hours.

Staggering to her feet, Mary braced herself on furniture, walls, anything she could in order to make her way to the stairs. She looked up the stairs, the climb had grown to be tedious in the last few months, the fifteen steps turning into a hike. Mary took a breath, her entire body was numb, she wanted to lay down and let the dust settle on her still body. Shoving off from the wall, Mary began her climb to the crying child that needed her attention. It felt like an eternity before she reached the top, Mary doubled over as she took the last step. Every movement felt like fire, her body screamed at her to give up, but she pressed on.

Leaning against the doorway to Phoenix’s room, Mary observed the little girl. Phoenix was upright in her crib, holding onto the edge and rocking back and forth. She didn’t seem to be crying or screaming at anything in particular, it was as if her entire being knew how much pain Mary was in and was reacting to it. Rain was pouring down, like someone had taken the ocean and dropped it on the whole of Europe.

Mary didn’t bother trying to soothe Phoenix, she was too exhausted from crying to do anything more than hold Phoenix and sit in the corner of the room. It was here that Remus found the two later in the evening. Both were exhausted from crying all day, looking as though Dementors had circled around them. “Mary?” Remus turned the lights on, “Have you been here all day?” he took Phoenix from Mary’s arms. “Mary?” she didn’t have the energy to talk to him, but she didn’t fight him when he pulled her to her feet.

Remus helped Mary back down to the kitchen, “Have you eaten yet today?” He asked, “Has Phoenix?” Mary shook her head. He cursed under his breath and let her go. She let him rummage around her kitchen, grabbing things to make a small meal.

While Remus was feeding Phoenix, Mary finally got the courage to use her voice, “Everything we did was useless.”

Remus looked at her, “What do you mean?”

“Dumbledore kidnapping Phoenix, making the safehouses, all the safety procedures, everything.” Mary mumbled, “Lily and James are still dead.” She doubled over, covering her face with her hands, “Marlene is still dead! Edgar, Dorcas, Fabian, Gideon, everyone.” She couldn’t stop the hot tears that escaped her eyes, “everything we did to try and tip the war in our favor. It was for nothing.”

“Add Peter to that list.” Remus said quietly. Mary’s head snapped up to look at him, Remus levitated two bowls of soup over to them, “Peter confronted Sirius on being Lily and James’s secret keeper.”

“No.” Mary whispered. “Sirius would never,”

“I know.” Remus said, neither touched the bowls. Remus sat across from Mary, pulling Phoenix’s highchair over to the table so he could sit and feed her. “But think about it. Who else would Lily and James trust? And Sirius has been a little,” Remus cringed, “off since Marlene was killed.”

“But to betray Lily and James?” Mary asked quietly, “James was like his brother. He was Harry’s Godfather for Merlin’s sake.”

“That’s not all.” Remus said, Mary chewed on her lip, watching and waiting for Remus to continue. “Peter confronted Sirius, and Sirius blew up Peter and twelve muggles.” The air left Mary’s lungs, she covered her mouth to keep herself from throwing up. “All that was left was a finger.”

“Poor Peter.” Mary whimpered, neither said a word. Peter had always been the awkward boy of their group of friends. But he was just as close to Lily and James as any of them. Thick as thieves with James, Sirius, and Remus. He was smart and devious in his own Gryffindor way. His sense of humor often being the reason everyone stayed up late in the common room. He was a master storyteller. Mary pressed her lips together. How could Sirius kill one of their best friends? Phoenix must have been able to sense the mood, for she didn’t put up a fuss when Remus continued to feed her. “What happened to Sirius, then?”

“Auror’s dragged him off. He’s being sent straight to Azkaban.” Remus admitted after a long silence. Mary’s muscles seemed to stop work as she slumped down over the table.

“I can’t believe it.” She said, more tears fell freely from her eyes. Eventually, Mary sat up and ate the soup Remus had made, thanking him for all his help. Soon after, Remus carried Phoenix back up to her room. Mary followed, not wanting to be alone.

“You never had to help,” Mary said, watching Remus put Phoenix in her crib. The little girl was exhausted, “she’s not your responsibility.”

“She’s not yours either.” Remus stood up and turned to look at her, “she was forced on you by Dumbledore.”

“All for nothing, too.” Mary crossed her arms, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever forgive Dumbledore for doing such a horrible thing. Remus guided Mary to her room, “thank you, though, for helping out these past two months.”

“Of course.” Was all Remus said.

Mary felt bad for smiling, she waited until she heard Remus help himself to the room next to hers before she got in bed. He’d stayed over so often since he helped with Phoenix, he didn’t even bother asking at this point. She tried to sleep, she really did. Before she could even think about what she was doing, Mary had packed up most of her things, Phoenix’s things, and scooped Phoenix up into her arms.

She left no note, and told no one she was leaving, or where to. But, when Remus woke the next day it was to an empty house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an fiy, this is the edited version of the same fiction over on Fanfiction.net. There are just a few small changes and grammar fixes, but if you want to read ahead you can find it there, I use the same name there.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for your time


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